


give a deer a carrot

by herwhiteknight



Series: 365 Days of Sarah/Cosima [25]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Post-Canon, Spirit Animals, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 23:46:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11241789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herwhiteknight/pseuds/herwhiteknight
Summary: After everything that Sarah's been through, seeing an overly friendly deer in their front lawn shouldn't be the most unnerving thing that's happened to her. And yet, somehow it is. Because it feels like this deerknowsher.





	give a deer a carrot

**Author's Note:**

> Got this idea from a friend on tumblr. Bear with me on this one.
> 
> Day 26 of 365.

The deer appears first. Kira's out for the day studying for a math test – what kid studies for tests while they're _still_ in middle school? - and Sarah's sitting at the kitchen table gazing out the picture window when she spots it. A fucking deer, just hanging out in their front lawn. Sarah hasn't hit her head recently, not that she can recall, but she's still sure she's hallucinating. Because the deer is staring _right at her._

“Uh, Cos?” Sarah calls, confusion colouring her voice as she slowly sets down her tea and nervously meets the deer's gaze through the glass.

“Yeah, what is it Sar?” Cosima answers back from the study where she spends most of her time when she's not cuddling with Sarah.

“Um...” she tries, her mouth opening slightly. She knows the words she's looking for are _“There's a bloody deer in our front lawn”_ but she can't seem to find the absurdity within herself to say it out loud. Plus, what if she is hallucinating? Cos'll probably want to check her out again. Medically. “Can y'come out here a sec please?”

Cosima's soft footfalls on the carpet are heard seconds later. Old paranoias do indeed die hard. “What's the matter babe?” Cosima asks quickly, putting her hands on Sarah's shoulders from behind and the tension in Sarah's shoulders fall at the reassuring touch.

Cosima's been looking at Sarah's face in concern so Sarah just jerks her head towards the window. Outside. Where the deer's still standing. “Holy shit!” Cosima yells, taking a step back. It's gotten closer. “That's a fucking deer, what the hell?!”

“Thank christ. You can see it too,” Sarah breathes out, “Hey, Cos – wait, what're you-?!”

“This is why we bought this property Sarah!” Cosima is practically squealing now, her initial shock apparently immediately replaced with excitement. _And I fell in love with this dork,_ Sarah rolls her eyes at herself. “They said that we'd get intimate encounters with forest wildlife and it's finally happening!”

“Cos, no, I don't think-” Sarah starts, but Cosima's already out the door. “Christ,” she mutters to herself and charges out after her, not bothering with her boots.

“Hey buddy,” Cosima coos, standing a few feet away from the creature and holding out her hand.

“Cos, y'don't have anything for it to eat,” Sarah rolls her eyes as she reaches out to grab Cosima by the shoulder and pull her back. When the deer suddenly strides right on past Cosima and practically bowls into Sarah's stomach. “The bloody hell,” Sarah grunts from the ground. “Cos, maybe y'should get back in-”

The deer plants a hoof on Sarah's chest as she's attempting to stand and stares her right in the eye. “Uh...,” Sarah trembles, remembering an old fear and instinctively scanning her surroundings for a way out. “Nice deer?” she tries, reaching out to pat its muzzle, completely clueless.

When she makes contact with its fur, she gets an impression of Beth.

Sarah gapes and blinks and stares. “Beth?!” she blurts, trying to lift herself off the ground to properly look the animal in the eye. The animal spirit? The animal Beth spirit? “What the bloody hell?!”

“Sarah...?” Cosima asks from the doorstep where she's holding a bag of bloody carrots of all things.

“Would you get your bloody hoof off me then if you're who I think you are?” Sarah grumbles, trying to roll out from under the deer's – Beth's, no – spirit Beth's – hoof.

“Sarah, if you just stay still, I think I can lure it away from you with-”

The Beth-deer lifted her hoof allowing Sarah to start to stand. “How very kind-” Sarah starts sarcastically. Before getting promptly cut off by a deer's muzzle in her face once again, knocking her out flat on her ass once more. “Oi!”

“Hey there,” Sarah hears Cosima's voice above her and promptly rolls her eyes. “I've got a nice juicy carrot for you here, okay? Now if you could just leave my girlfriend alone and eat the carrot, that'd-”

“Cos, that's-” Sarah says, standing quickly as deer-Beth is momentarily distracted by Cosima's offer of the carrot. At least, that's what Sarah had assumed.

Instead the deer just looks back and forth between Sarah and Cosima. And as the deer turns it's head to look at Cosima, then Sarah, then Cosima again, Sarah almost feels like it – she, Beth, _bloody hell –_ is _judging them._ “Oh, piss off!” Sarah folds her arms in the deer's direction and scowls. “I thought we were done with this shite!”

“Uh... Sarah?” Cosima turns and looks at her girlfriend as Sarah stonily stares off with the deer. Who isn't budging either. “You haven't.. uh, had a concussion again recently or anything, have you?”

Sarah doesn't move. “Pet the deer, Cos,” is all she says.

“Pet the-?”

“You were so eager to before, weren't ya?” Sarah growls, her gaze unbroken with the deer. “Just go on and pet it. It's not goin' anywhere.”

“Are you sure you don't-?” Cosima asks again, putting down the bag of carrots in favour of reaching out to feel Sarah's forehead and check her pupils.

“Damnit Cos!” Sarah throws up her arms as Cosima's face obscures her staring contest with the Beth-deer. The deer makes a noise that sounds gloating. “Now she's bloody laughing at me!”

“She?!”

“Pet the bloody deer Cos!” Sarah demands again, reaching out for its muzzle again. “Right here, yeah?” And as she lays her hand on deer-Beth's muzzle once more, Beth's voice drifts crystal clear into her head.

_Seriously, your girlfriend? You do realize you have the exact same face, right?_

“Bloody... Christ...,” Sarah groans to herself and steps away from deer-Beth with an exasperated groan. “I'm gonna put these carrots back in the fridge, yeah? And you don't get _any!_ ”

A few seconds later, just as Sarah's opening the vegetable drawer, Cosima shrieks. “Beth?!”

“There it is,” Sarah mutters to herself as she strolls back outside. “She's a little shit, Cos, I forbid you from giving her any- oh.” Sarah starts down the front steps only to stop abruptly at the side of Cosima and deer-Beth sitting down on the grass together, Cosima keeping a steady and soft contact with deer-Beth's muzzle as she leans against her flank, eyes closed and laughing softly.

“Where've you been all this time?” Cosima asks.

“Uh, Cos, she's kinda been-”

Cosima's eyes fly open and she's got a sharp glint in her eyes that Sarah instantly knows not to mess with. “Either join the convo or like, not be here, okay Sarah?”

“Okay, Cos, okay. Yeah, fine,” Sarah puts up a hand defensively as she sinks down onto the grass in front of the deer's head, not without first kissing Cosima's cheek placatingly first. Then basically makes the mistake of lacing her fingers with Cosima's over deer-Beth's muzzle.

_She's got you so whipped, huh Manning?_

Can deers look smug? Because this one looks bloody smug. “I definitely do,” Cosima replies out loud and Sarah stares at her. _This is my life now,_ she thinks to herself, _I'm in love with my own clone and I'm telepathically talking to a fucking_ deer _right now who is apparently the spirit of one of the_ other _clones._

“Not you too,” Sarah groans, dropping her head into her free hand. “I'm gonna have both of you sassing after my ass, aren't I?”

_Well, I wont be after your ass, because_ apparently _that's Cosima's department-_

“You're damn right,” Cosima smirks until Beth kicks her in the thigh with a hind leg.

_Which is my line, you're welcome._

Cosima pouts and rubs her thigh as Sarah slowly casts her gaze over the scene in front of her. “So like, I guess we've just adopted a deer now then, haven't we Cos?”

_You're damn right._

 

**Author's Note:**

> More character-animals to come later! I'm definitely thinking Mika next for sure. I had too much fun with this one.


End file.
